For my first turning point, I’m taking us back a couple of years (812 days, to be exact). I’d been writing “in the drawer” for some time. I was a Hobbyist, though a serious one. I dabbled a few hours a week until I eventually "finished" a “book”. In fact, I had local kids read it and give me feedback. I’d done market research and identified my top agents. All the advice demanded that I attend a conference, which was *terrifying* (seriously, I, The Conference Junkie, was beyond nervous). But I signed up for one because writing was my dream.

That faithful day came. I packed up my stuff, kissed the wife and dogs bye, and made it to the hotel plenty early. And, there it was, sitting in my registration packet: a schedule with a slot – only an hour later – with My Perfect Agent. That was it. The fates had aligned. It was going to be my big break. Yep! The New York Times Best Seller List, here I come. Which vacation home was I going to buy first?

Later that night, as My Perfect Agent read my pages, I prepared for him to bow down to me or for the excitement to rattle his hands when he realized what he held. Except that, instead, his face iced over and at the same moment, the room turned very, very stuffy.

“Honestly,” he passed me my pages as if they were cow pies,  “This made me want to shoot myself in the bleeping head.”

Only he didn’t say bleeping.

Nope. He did not.

I never knew that dreams make a noise as they die, but they do. And, for everyone’s information, it sounds a lot like “made me want to shoot myself in the bleeping head.”

Afterward, I wanted to cry myself to sleep or throw my laptop off the roof, maniacally laughing as the transistors scattered on the parking lot below. I wanted to return to the safety of my wife and dogs and warm bed. I wanted to give up. But I didn’t. Instead, I pulled myself together, bought a venti Americano, turned on the computer, and worked all night. I was going to show My Perfect Agent exactly how bleeping good I could be.

And that, Dear Readers, was my first turning point –

The day everything changed –

The disturbance that sent me on my quest, my never-ending quest –

That was my birth as a Writer. 

Obviously, My Perfect Agent should’ve been more P.C. since he could crush more fragile souls (actually, it isn’t that I’m tough, it’s that I was too dumb back then to know any better – if My Perfect Agent said the same thing to me today…well, it would not be pretty). But I owe him a lot. I’d been gestating as a Hobbyist for long enough, it was only the pain inflicted upon me by My Perfect Agent that launched me, head-first, out of the womb (yes, yes, you can totally tell I’ve got a baby on the way – sue me).

The next morning, My Perfect Agent read my revision and loved it. Impressed, he encouraged me to continue. And, continue, I did. Since then I haven’t stopped. I’ve grown as a writer like a newborn developing. With every blink I feel so much more mature than a moment before. I eagerly accept critique, savor every drop of information offered, and push myself beyond my perceived capabilities. I prioritize writing just below family. I write for a few hours almost every day and I get up at 5am to do it (even on weekends). Most of all, I try to make sure my writing never, ever makes anyone want to shoot themselves in the bleeping head again.

And, folks, if I can live through something like that...if I thrived from that horrible moment, then I know you can take all those fears or bad reviews or mean comments and spin them into your own gold.

Almost two years ago, I attended the SCBWI Annual Conference. The truth is that I made myself go. It’s a large conference, and I generally prefer the smaller, more work-shoppy ones. Also, crowds overwhelm me. But off I went because I had so many dear friends going. In particular, the YA Muses would all be there. We’d gotten really close over the course of the previous months.  We all clicked in our dedication and hunger to get published. Things were starting to heat up for a few of the Muses, and LA was going to be our celebration. Our pow-wow.

I ended up submitting a selection of pages to the optional critique offered at that conference. Again, I wasn’t going to do this. I have a terrific group of friends who are astute readers. I also work with writing mentors, who I knew would help me get my manuscript in the best shape it could be in before I queried agents. My plan was to start querying two months after the conference, but I signed up for the critique anyway. I had never walked away from one without some kind of takeaway, even if it was just getting to know another person in the writing community.

That critique changed my life. I met an editor who was very excited about my work. An incredible person who set me on my way, not only by indicating interest in seeing the full manuscript, but by nominating me for the Sue Alexander Award. 

I left that 8:30 am meeting utterly stunned. I don’t remember how I ended up outside the Century Plaza Hotel, where the huge air-conditioning units churned away. It was just the first place I could find. I don’t remember calling my husband and trying (and failing) to tell him what had happened coherently…. Guys, I want to give you a sense for how unreal this moment was, but it’s so hard to do. I hope you feel it one day if you’re a writer or anyone chasing after a dream. That morning, I’d gotten one solid handhold on that dream and I knew I could wrestle it down.

It was my turning point.

After several years in the writing chase, I’d come to know a good share of people. A good share of great people. The writers I know love to help one another. It’s truly a special community. Word of my critique got out during the rest of the conference. People told me to get querying. That I shouldn’t make another move without an agent. People offered to introduce me to their agents. I’m going to skip forward a bit here. The result is that within the week, I did have an agent. A great one. And, skipping ahead another six weeks, I had a book deal for a trilogy.

Those of you working on manuscripts: this post is for you. Amazing things happen. I’m proof of that. Keep writing. Get to those conferences and share your work.

Your turning point is out there.

This week we're talking about turning points on the road to publication. I'm going to write about a turning point that came after I got my first book deal.   Actually, it came after my second.   At the time, it felt more like a reversal than a turning point.   Like a character on the cusp of Act III, I had one of those gut-wrenching defeats where it seemed all was lost. The only thing I could do was dig deep to find the courage I needed to regroup and find another way through the problem.

At the time, I didn't dwell on it all that much. I just did what I had to do to find my way through to the other side. It's only months later, in hindsight, that I can appreciate how I've come through the struggle changed- more confident as a writer.
I sold a book on proposal. I wrote the book. I was given some revision notes and I did a revision. Then I got an email from my agent.

"We need to talk."

My agent is lovely, and I'm sure the email was extremely polite and positive, but I read between the lines.   Sure enough, the conversation centered around the fact that my editor did not think the direction of the revision was working, and wanted to see how I felt about a fairly significant rewrite. I assured my agent that I was okay with it.  I was, both because I was starting to have my own doubts about that revision, and because I wanted my publisher to like the book.

But I was terrified.

My editor was enthusiastic and encouraging on our call. She offered to move my publication date, to give me as much time as I needed to do the revision. She helped me understand what wasn't working and brainstorm some new ideas. I told her how grateful I was for the opportunity to make the book better, rather than rush an inferior product to market. And I was grateful.

But I was still terrified.

When I went back to the manuscript to start chopping story elements, I was left with about 20% of the original product, and most of that would have to change.   I was going to have to replot the entire book from scratch, reimagine some supporting characters, and basically write a new book.

I felt the pressure to perform in a way I'd never felt before.  It truly felt like a make it or break it moment, if not for my writing career, at least for this book.

I embarked on a crash course in plotting. Some of you may remember when I was learning about the four act structure and analyzing sequences and setpieces. The index card method mentioned in the first post was just one of the techniques that helped me get past my fear and get to work.

Once I had the new plot in place, I sat down and wrote. At first, I felt the eyes of my editor over my shoulder, and I started to second guess every page, every line, every word. But it wasn't my editor at all- it was my own fear of failure that hung in the air and kept me from doing my best work. I had to find a way to push it aside. To find my character's voice again. To let her tell her story. The story I wanted to write.

I developed a playlist of songs that evoked the tone, feelings and voice I wanted for the characters.  At the beginning of every writing session I put in my headphones and disappeared into another world. The music became my white noise, drowning out my own voice of self doubt and letting the characters come to the surface. The words started to flow again, and I let myself enjoy spending more time with my characters.

The new draft was better than anything I could've ever done on my own. I was pushed to places I didn't know I could go.  I learned so much about plot, story and characterization. It was the scariest, but also the best experience I've had as a writer.

No matter what happened with the book, I had turned a corner on my path as a writer.  I discovered new weapons in my arsenal, and a newfound courage. 

My editor is happy with the new draft too, which is wonderful.  But I'm already certain that the impact of this experience will be more than this one book. 

I might be able to do this writing thing after all.

I'm holed up cramming as much Tudor drama as I can into Book 2, so the lovely Suzanne Lazear, a 2k12 Classmate, has agreed to share a MAJOR turning point in her writing career with us.  Thank you, Suzanne!  And readers, don't forget to click the button in our header for a chance to win an ARC of Donna's debut, SKINNY.

I’ve wanted to be an author pretty much all my life.  Back in the third grade my teacher touted us “publishing” our own books as part of our curriculum.  I was heartbroken to discover “publishing” meant my mom using the school binding machine to turn our stories into little books.  I wanted my book to be in the bookstore—not displayed on a table in the school library.

I wrote stories instead of essays for assignments whenever I thought I could get away with it.  During freshman year of high school whenever we had “free” journaling in English I wrote an ongoing story about Elves. I read books about writing and querying.  I still have pages and pages of hand written chapters torn from notebooks in high school and college.  I regaled my friends with my crazy story ideas.  In graduate school sometimes I’d write stories instead of taking notes, since we all used laptops in class.

In late 2006, about a year before my ten year high school reunion, post grad school, marriage, and baby, I was sitting in front of the computer and I went, wow, ten years.  I always thought I’d have a book published by now.

Then I took a moment and thought about why I hadn’t published a book.

It hit me like a sack full of bricks.

In order to be published you have to sit down and write an entire manuscript.

I’d never, in all my years of writing, ever actually written an entire book from start to finish.  Short stories, but not a full novel.  I’d write chapters and chapters when inspiration struck, then as the ideas ran out another shiny idea would grab my attention and I’d write that one instead of finishing what I was working on.

So, for my 2007 new year’s resolution, my goal was to write an entire book from start to finish.  After two false starts, I wrote an entire 118k adult urban fantasy novel in three weeks.  (It was awful).  In 2007 I wrote four complete different manuscripts.  All pretty dreadful.

I never looked back.  I still had the occasional false start as I figured out I liked certain genres more than others.  It wasn’t until mid-2008 I really starting figuring things out like when you write the end, your story is hardly finished, editing can often take longer than the actual drafting.  I also had to learn that books needed plots--they couldn’t just be thirty chapters of dialogue and explosions.  I hadn’t even attempted the next big step, querying, or truly or discovered the YA genre.  Those are other stories.

But what I learned in 2007 was the most important lesson that I think a writer can learn – write a story until it’s done.   I did all this without a community of writers—this was before I’d discovered online writing forums or the Romance Writers of America.  I wasn’t on twitter, I didn’t blog.  I didn’t read any books on craft.  All I did was put my butt in the chair, my hands of the keyboard and write.  And write and write and write.  When I hit The End I’d do it all again.

INNOCENT DARKNESS, written in 2009, was the manuscript that finally sold.  It was completed manuscript number ten, and the fourth manuscript I’d queried.  With the three others I’d amassed hundreds of rejections.  I’d entered them in contests, pitched them at conferences, and learned the lessons of editing, querying, plotting, and that writing at YA was even more fun than writing for adults.

But the tale of my YA steampunk dark fairytale, too, is a story for another day, one I’d never be able to tell if I hadn’t decided that in 2007 I was going to sit down and write an entire book.

Write on!

 ~Suzanne Lazear
www.suzannelazear.com
www.facebook.com/suzannelazear
www.twitter.com/suzannelazear

Suzanne Lazear writes for teens because her dancers made her and she never looked back. She’s a regular blogger at the Steampunk group blog Steamed.  Suzanne plays with swords, runs with bustles, and is hardly ever described as normal. She lives in Los Angeles with her daughter, the hubby, and a hermit crab, and is currently trying to make a ray gun to match her ball gown. Her 

YA Debut INNOCENT DARKNESS, book one of The Aether Chronicles, will be released from Flux August 8, 2012.

INNOCENT DARKNESS

Wish. Love. Desire. Live.

In a Steampunk version of Los Angeles, Sixteen-year-old Noli Braddock's hoyden ways land her in an abusive reform school far from home. On mid-summer's eve she wishes to be anyplace but that dreadful school. A mysterious man from the Realm of Faerie rescues her and brings her to the Otherworld, only to reveal that she must be sacrificed.  If Noli doesn't die, an entire civilization will.

I am so excited to share our newest giveaway with you today--a personally autographed bound galley of my new book, SKINNY.

Poignant and charming, inspiring and fascinating – this compelling story of a girl who finally decides to take control of her weight and her destiny will have huge appeal for both girls and women

Ever – named, somewhat ironically, after Cinderella’s ‘happily ever after’ – started putting on weight when her mom died. Now she is fifteen years old, weighs 302 pounds, and hears voices.

The voice that whispers in Ever’s ear is the voice of self-doubt and mockery, and it has a name—Skinny. Skinny’s nasty little whispers tell Ever constantly that she’s ugly, a loser, friendless, and undeserving of love. Especially the love of Jackson Barnett, who once kissed her in the snow all those years ago and whom she’s adored ever since.

But Ever hears another voice too – her own amazing singing voice that no one knows about even though she’s memorized the lyrics of every musical ever written. If Ever is willing to take the chance to radically change her body, maybe she might also find the courage to share that voice with the rest of the world.

With the help of her long-suffering science-geek friend Rat, Ever embarks on the risky, terrifying journey of weight loss ulminating in gastric bypass surgery. But while Ever’s body will gradually change on the outside, she soon finds that changing the fat girl on the inside will prove much harder.

Ever dreams of a simple Happy Ever After. But on the long, confusing road to self-reinvention (or self-discovery?), she soon finds that nothing and no one is quite what she thought – least of all herself. Will Ever’s dreams be a case of Never Ever – as she always feared?

From www.greenhouseliterary.com

We have an ARC of SKINNY, to be sent to a randomly-selected reader anywhere in the world. All you have to do is comment and/or tell the world about us and the giveaway. You can enter as many times as you want. The contest is open internationally and runs from right now through Friday, February 24 – winner announced next Monday!

Each of these things will give you one entry into our hat:

◦ Any comment on any blog posting this week
◦ Any tweet or retweet (please include a #skinnynovel hashtag and a link to the blog)
◦ Any Facebook link to the blog (please add a link to your comment, so we can see this!)