I’ve made exactly one mistake in my writing career so far.

Please, I’ll continue when you stop laughing. *Jiggles foot*

Ok, let me draw a distinction for the purposes of this post…I’ve made countless errors – which are things like putting my foot in my mouth in front of famous agents (who me?!) or having no mastery over semicolons. But a mistake is another animal. To me it’s something that causes regret. Errors can be wiped clear with a sincere apology or a ninja copyeditor. Mistakes are things that stick with you, even if you get on the right course. See the difference?

I started to dabble in writing almost a decade ago, but it was a hobby. An endeavor I devoted an hour or two a week to…if nothing better was happening. At one point, I “finished” a novel. I “revised” it. I “learned” the industry via books and the web. I “queried” agents. I even sent “fulls” to several agents that requested them. But I did all of this in a vacuum. Only my wife, family, and closest friends knew that I wrote, much less that I was shopping a manuscript.

During this time, I ignored a single line of advice that arose time and time again in my research on how to become a writer: Network with other writers, they said. Go to conferences. Join writing groups. Make connections. In my head, I justified ignoring this because I was too busy – I read all the “how to” books – I didn’t know how to find a reputable critique group/conference/etc. In the end, I was scared. In my writing world (a very tiny pond), I was the biggest fish (the only one). Venturing into larger ponds with many more fish  would be a huge risk. So I went on for another couple years, growing fatter even as the pond dried up. I plateaued in my skill and what I could learn by myself. And I knew it.

This was my mistake. Not that I was fearful, that’s unavoidable when I (most of us) put ourselves out there. But responding to this fear by inaction is where I effed up. I regret those years that I could’ve been devoted to this passion that was under my nose. At the time, I loved the idea of writing…but I had no clue how much I would actually love writing.

But in December 2009, I went to a conference. So what changed? Did I suddenly smack my fear down? Did I learn that I need my writing community to prepare me to someday be published?

Nope. I went because of an error in my thinking. I believed I was ready for primetime. I went because there were some big shot agents that I could pay to sit in a room with. Who cared about the other writers? They were there to hoist me on their shoulders after these agents signed me.

It did not turn out how I imagined, for this was the fateful critique where the agent told me my writing made him want to shoot himself in the bleeping head. This was the conference where I met the Muses. This was the weekend where the hobbiest died and the writer was born.

Thinking about it now, maybe all those years of toiling were just me waiting in the wings for that conference because so much of my life changed over those couple of days. Maybe I shouldn’t regret that time at all.

Hmmm. Fine. I guess I’ve never made a mistake in my writing life.

Cool. 

You want to hear something weird? The things I regret in my writing journey haven't been mistakes. My mistakes sure felt bad when they were happening. But hindsight is such a wicked little thing, isn't it?

When I look back, I don't just see what I did wrong. I see what I learned in the process. I see that experience and knowledge came with the scars--and I sometimes thing they only come with scars.

Mistakes also give you an opportunity to shine. I tell that to my kids. Everyone stumbles, but it's how you pick yourself up that matters. I truly believe that, and try to live by that sentiment.

What I regret more than taking wrong turns on the writing road is being distracted or moving too hastily. Every day, I strive to find pure enjoyment in the act of writing. I try to relish the characters and the story, and stop myself from being crowded by this voice wanting this thing or that voice wanting another.

I'm the guilty of putting obstacles in my own way. I can over-think the business side of writing and let it take over. I can stress about peripheral things to the point that they slide front and center, and the writing fades into the background.

My mistake, in a nutshell, is worrying about things I have little to no control over. That is a terrible error, and sadly, it's one I battle with often.

The writing comes first. At least, it always should.

What about you guys? What do you think about the stumbles on your writing path?

The difference between successful people and others?  Successful people try.  They fail.  And try again.  Lather. Rinse. Repeat.  

As a writer, mistakes are an inherent part of the process.  First drafts are called first drafts for a reason.  The image of a writer at his typewriter with more crumpled pages around the trashcan than finished ones is a cliché for a reason.  Writing is a series of trials and errors.  Try this word, this sentence structure, this character, this plot point, try again.  

That’s why revision is such a huge part of the writing process. As writers we have to embrace mistakes, embrace rejection, and just keep trying.  That’s the only sure way to success.  

Here are some mistakes I’ve made:

1       Querying too soon:  I was so excited to have a completed manuscript. After years of talking about it, I finished a book!  I loved it.  Someone else would too, right?  Um, no.  The book had bright spots, but no cohesive plot.  I went through major revisions during the submission process, both before and after landing an agent.  A good concept can get you manuscript requests, but the book needs to be well crafted enough to keep an agent reading.  I was lucky to get some feedback from a few agents who read the manuscript.  One agent worked on a revision with me, and my current agent signed me and then worked on another substantial revision.  That professional feedback helped make my manuscript stronger, and taught me a lot about craft and story.  While I still have a tendency to send things out too soon, at least now I know that big changes are ahead.

2       Spending too much time on publication, not enough on writing:  Once I decided I to write a novel, I spent a lot of time researching how to get it published.  I read craft books, blogs, forums and websites, spent hours on social media following agents and editors, researched response times and query guidelines.  While I do think it is important to do all those things, there came a point where the pursuit of publication began to overshadow the writing itself.  The best time spent is time spent on the manuscript itself.

3       Pantsing my way through a novel:  I’m not talking about having a vague idea of the central conflict and story and writing without a net.  I’m talking about writing a book with no idea what happens next (see lack of cohesive plot, above).  One of the reasons that it took so long for me to complete my first manuscript was because I would sit down at the computer without a plan. I never knew what came next until I wrote it.  While this kind of writing can lead to wonderful surprises, it also leads to a lack of plot trajectory, tangents.  No wonder I needed to rewrite large portions.  Now, even if I don’t use an outline, I plan basic plot points I need to hit along the way, and have an idea of what the story is about and where it is headed before I sit down to write.  When I open my computer to write, I have a scene in mind to work on.  I’m still surprised by my characters, and new scenes will often appear as I’m writing, but I find I can use a lot more of them, when I already know where the story is headed.

4       Not finding a writing community sooner.  Finding writing friends changed my life.  It is so amazing to talk to people who understand what you are trying to do, support you and can share their own experiences.  The writing itself is so solitary, it makes all the difference to have someone to share it with.

5       Chasing trends:  In our quest to write the next bestseller, it’s not uncommon to look at what else is selling or to try to anticipate what will sell.  Sometimes, writing in a popular genre can get you read or published sooner, but chances are, if you have already spotted a trend, you’re too late.  At a minimum, you will be entering a crowded market where it will be difficult to stand out from the other vampire/werewolf/dystopian/pirate/talking dog books.  One big book or series can spawn a host of similar books, but none will come close to the success of the first break out book, and most will get lost in the sea of similar books.  Write about what’s important to you.  I think that it’s important to think about the market and strive to write high concept fiction.  But in the future, I want to set trends, not follow them.

6       Believing the press:  some people will love your work, others, not so much.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and all of those opinions are valid.  But writers crave validation.  I know I wanted everyone to love my characters and story as much as I did.  Logically, I know it’s not possible.  Still, at first it was hard for me to separate criticism of the work from criticism of me. Just because someone doesn’t like your work, doesn’t mean that the work isn’t good.  Conversely, just because someone loves it, doesn’t make it good.  Was the book as good as I could make it at the time?  Did I love it?  If the answer to both questions is yes, than I’ve accomplished what I set out to, and there is nothing to do but let the book go and move on to the next one. 

I’m sure there will be many more mistakes in my future.  I’ll do my best to learn from them.  Mistakes happen, but they’re just rites of passage on the road to success.

I'm a perfectionist.  There, I said it.  I can't even cross something off my to-do list until it is absolutely, completely, 100% finished (like the laundry is not only washed and dried, but folded and put away in right place and the basket is back by the washing machine. Check.)

I spend hours on research for my books - reading biographies, taking notes, searching out obscure journal articles, poring through transcribed letters and papers online.  I have a reputation amongst the Muses as a copyeditor-type beta reader - questioning word choice, correcting spelling, catching continuity issues.  I admit I've got atrocious punctuation, but I've been running up that learning curve as I move through this business, trying to get it right.

So when I got my copyedits for TARNISH, I cried.

There were corrections on every page.  Boneheaded mistakes like substituting bear for bare and having a character curtsy while lying on the ground (i.e., not having her get up first).  Historical inaccuracies like my character talking about a "tuppenny whore" when they didn't have two-pence pieces in the 16th century.  And a major geographical blunder that I won't even talk about, I'm so mortified.  

And yes, lots of punctuation issues. Though I have to say, some of my punctuation problems were intentional because the character's voice includes lots of sentence fragments.  I had to reconsider every single one at the request of my copyeditor (bless her).

Why am I telling you all of this?  I guess, because we all make mistakes, no matter how hard we try not to.  Ultimately, we have to let them go.  Correct what we can, but not beat ourselves up about what we can't.  Do our best to strive for perfection, but know that ultimately, no one is perfect.

We want our characters to make mistakes.  It's not only essential to the plot, it's essential to a likable character.  Perfection is irritating.  Flaws are compelling.  Remember that the next time your Skinny berates you for saying the wrong thing or putting a red shirt in with your kids' white socks (not that I have any experience with that personally...)  But also, if you makes lots of mistakes like I do?  Make friends with a copyeditor.  You won't regret it.

Are you going to be near Charlotte, NC this Thursday, October 25 at 4:30 pm?  Come say hello!  We'd love to meet you.

Meet the Teen Authors: Park Road Books Author Panel

Join debut YA authors Donna Cooner, Veronica Rossi, Katherine Longshore and Talia Vance in an engaging author discussion panel moderated by Bret Ballou.  Learn more about the process of writing a story and what inspired the authors to write theirs. Audience: Teens (12-18)

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This week our theme is "Mistakes."  I'm going to cheat a bit and share a post I read recently about making mistakes when looking for an agent. I know many of you are at the point of starting to consider seeking representation, and I thought this would be a great resource.  

11 Mistakes Writers Make When Approaching Literary Agents