Borrowing Toothpaste & Other Perks of the Writing Community

Raise your hand if you’re an introvert.

Now do the same if you are a writer and are comfortable with nothing more than your own thoughts for hours on end.

My hand is up. Is yours?

I think a lot of us writers are introverted by nature. Years ago, I had no idea how social my writing life would ultimately make me.

I remember going to my first few conferences, back when I was just a newbie writer. I went to the San Francisco Writers Conference and SCBWI Annual Conference and a few smaller workshops. I remember feeling overwhelmed and like I was this tiny speck—so insignificant in the grand scheme of publishing. I seriously questioned whether I would ever break in, or feel part of such a vast and seemingly impersonal business.

Then things started to change. I met one writer and exchanged emails, and then another. I joined a critique group. I started going to the same conferences regularly. And little by little, I found friends. I don’t mean to sound braggy when I say this, but now I find that there isn’t enough time when I go to cons to see the friends I’ve made. There are just too many great people in this business. I’m lucky to know a lot of them.

I’ve been talking about fellow writers, but the network of awesome in this business reaches far beyond this group, to agents, editors, and bloggers.

Here are just a few snapshots of how this community makes me feel full:

-       Random acts of kindness – Recently I mentioned on twitter that I have been looking for ARC and haven’t been able to track it down. A blogger friend emailed me a week later, after she’d been to ALA. “I got it for you! Send me your addy, and I’ll mail it.” This type of generosity is not uncommon. From bloggers and readers, while on tour, I’ve been gifted with cupcakes, beautiful handmade bags, original artwork inspired by my book. I mean… there are no words. Occasionally you see eruptions of animosity in this business, but for the large part, kindness rules.

Me and Donna, at Donna's BEA
autographing for SKINNY

-       Your friends are my friends  - When I first met Donna’s editor at the autographing line for SKINNY in BEA, we hugged. I kinda love her a little bit for how much she loves SKINNY and got teary when I saw how proud she was of Donna. There were dozens and dozens of people waiting to have Donna’s book signed, but Aimee pulled me behind the table to get a snapshot with one of my dearest friends, because she knew what it would mean to both Donna and I. And it did mean a lot. That’s one of the things I didn’t expect…. Writers, agents, editors, bloggers. We love books. And while we can be competitive, we also love to support each other. What we do is so much more than 350 pages of paper, bound between cardboard. The work we do involves dreams and friendships.

Here's a view of the line that Aimee held up so we could snap the above picture.
You can't see, but the line went deep into the conference hall.

-       The Return of The Slumber Party – At various conferences, I’ve shared hotel rooms with Katy Longshore, Talia Vance, Jessi Kirby, Corinne Jackson, and Shannon Messenger. Let me tell you: few things are more fun than staying up late and chatting with friends, and in a funny little way, these girls are my girls now. I’ve borrowed their toothpaste and listened to them snore (not naming any names here.) That makes them almost family.

Now it’s your turn. I’d love to know: what does the writing community mean to you?