Book of My Heart - by Donna

My first completed novel, BOOB BLOGS, was about a daughter dealing with her mother's cancer. It never sold and, if truth is told, that is probably a good thing.  Not only did I need more actual writing practice, but I also quickly discovered that, no matter how close the story was to me, it wasn't unique enough for the publishing marketplace.

There was another purpose to this book, however, and one I couldn't see at the time. I believe now the book of  my heart wasn't a book for the rest of the world.  

It was for me.  

After years of writing data laden journal articles for university audiences, this is the book that brought me back to fiction, creativity, and passion.  It also brought me face to face with emotions that were so deeply rooted in my reality that I spent many a writing session in tears.  Today, I sit writing this blog post wrapped in the electric blanket that was my last present to my mom before she lost her cancer battle.  After so many rounds of chemo, she was always so cold.  Today was so snowy, and my writing space was chilled, and I forced myself to pull it out of the corner of the linen closet and wrap up in the warmth along with the memories.

 And I thought nothing is ever lost. 

Especially when it comes to what is true and heartfelt...

or mothers.

You will never read the book of my heart, but I hope there is a bit of it in everything I write.

You may have even seen a bit of it in SKINNY...

"The memory of my mom in the hospital cafeteria comes out of nowhere and shocks through my body, causing my hands to twitch uncontrollably at my sides. It’s like this movie I saw once where these people were on a luxury cruise ship and they were having a fancy dinner party, totally unaware that this huge tidal wave was coming. In the memory, in the hospital cafeteria, people are eating and talking and trying to be as normal as possible. Even though there are wheelchairs and IV poles and lots of hats covering bald heads. And that is the tidal wave — cancer — coming toward the big sunny windows outside. Every family in this cafeteria will be washed away, including mine, will be turned upside down, torn apart by this huge, random tidal wave, and there is nothing any of us can do to predict when it will hit. We can’t stop it, either. So everyone eats their Jell-O cups and drinks their juice through plastic straws and ignores that huge looming wave right outside the window. "