Rocky Road
I've been through some ups and downs lately. Mostly downs, if truth be told. That term, 'walking wounded'? That's me.
I'm functioning. Barely. But my confidence is shot to hell and finishing this book has become just about the hardest thing I've ever tried to do.
I've got 233 pages. I need another 100. The whole thing is a hot mess. I'm in way over my head. Individual scenes sparkle, characters are breathing on the page, but my brain is scrambled by stress and the story isn't hanging together. It's a Frankenstein's monster of a story—all awkward gait and visible seams. Proof that my vision is greater than my skill.
Yet giving up is not an option.
And that's all I have to say this week. Just don't give up. Don't give in. Never surrender.
Beyond the rocks the Still Blue awaits. It would be so easy to curl up in a ball and fall asleep, but I can smell the salt tang in the air, the moisture on my skin, the plaintive call of the gulls. One foot, one word, after the other... and I'll get there. To those of you who are feeling the same way, walk with me. You can do this.
I'm functioning. Barely. But my confidence is shot to hell and finishing this book has become just about the hardest thing I've ever tried to do.
I've got 233 pages. I need another 100. The whole thing is a hot mess. I'm in way over my head. Individual scenes sparkle, characters are breathing on the page, but my brain is scrambled by stress and the story isn't hanging together. It's a Frankenstein's monster of a story—all awkward gait and visible seams. Proof that my vision is greater than my skill.
Yet giving up is not an option.
And that's all I have to say this week. Just don't give up. Don't give in. Never surrender.
Beyond the rocks the Still Blue awaits. It would be so easy to curl up in a ball and fall asleep, but I can smell the salt tang in the air, the moisture on my skin, the plaintive call of the gulls. One foot, one word, after the other... and I'll get there. To those of you who are feeling the same way, walk with me. You can do this.
8 comments
I'm so sorry you're having a rough time, Lia! I know it doesn't help much, but I think all of us have been (or are) where you are. Vision greater than skill? Check. Story not hanging together? Check.
Giving up? Not an option. Amen to that.
You can do it. We're all cheering for you.
This post is just confirmation for me of what a beautiful and compelling writer you are Lia:) I know you can do this. I know your book will be incredible. I know it will be on the bookshelves and I know I will definitely buy it:) Hang in there. I am walking with you. xx
One step, one word at a time, Lia. That's how we writers do it, come rain or come shine. I'm confident that you'll get there and when you do the world will be a better place for it will have your book! I believe in you!
xMina
Power to you for sharing how difficult it is to create truly new material Lia.
It doesn't matter which medium you work in, there's that time between the do and the don't, the can and the cannot, the will or won't when all seems utterly useless, impossible, ridiculous, vain. And everybody has to go through that tunnel of despair. There's no way back, only going forward, there's light at the end of the tunnel. Just around the bend, and then another, and yet another. Keep on keeping on. Your skill will catch up with your vision. If the latter wasn't so darn innovative and all encompassing you'd already be home free. You'll get there. Keep on keeping on. We're here, there, everywhere, feeling your pain. I can wait. 10,000 hours or more.
One step in front of another.
this is actually an encouraging post, because it's great to hear that other writers slog through times of despair and "can I really make this happen?" Thanks for sharing. Look forward to hearing "the end."
Thank you for being open and honest, Lia.
This is the darkness before the dawn, I think. It is healthy to worry so when you have high standards - but drop them for the time being and finish this mother. Then go back and bring those critical skills to the rewrite. When we hit the hard parts - that's just us confronting our demons. It's why we take on the project of writing, because we need to process our lives. Think how lucky you are, to be able and willing to strap on your sword and do battle with yourself and your story. Excelsior!
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