The Sting of a Negative Review

Katy and I have been in Hood River, Oregon at a writing workshop this week. Yesterday, during dinner with a few other writers, the subject of reviews came up. Here are the questions that were raised, followed by my answers.

How difficult it is to read someone's deconstruction of your work?

Totally depends. If the reviewer didn't like the book because of incompatible taste, those are the easiest to shrug off. They might dislike my characters, my writing, my world-building... it can hurt a little to read, but I understand. Plenty of books let me down. That's the thing. I'm a reader, too. I totally get what it feels like to be unsatisfied with the reading experience.

The reviews that really hurt, if I'm being honest, are the ones that resonate and bounce around in my head long after I've read the review. Usually when that happens it's because 1) I have been attacked or offended on a personal level (rare), or 2) the reviewer has isolated a weakness in the book that I actually agree with (more common.) This latter category is the worst because, while I'm far from perfect, I am a perfectionist. Being reminded of my failings is miserable. It can be very hard to shake...which brings me to the next question.

Does reading negative reviews get easier over time?

Yes. Reviews are like bee stings. At first, there was a lot of pain. A lot of "what did I do to that bee?" Then I became allergic and it REALLY sucked (this was when I become obsessive about reviews around the launch of my first book.) Then I read so many that they lost their potency, and I developed natural immunities. It still sucks to be stung, but for the most part the hurt goes away pretty quickly.

How do you deal with it?

The best thing? Don't read them in the first place. Second best approach: set yourself up so that you won't dwell on what you read. If I'm going to read a review, then I try to have a plan in place for immediately afterward. That way if it's a bad one that hits me like a 2 by 4, I can still get myself doing whatever it is I had planned. I'm less apt to stare blankly at the screen, or threaten to throw in the towel.

Being reviewed is part of being a writer. I've learned that the second my manuscript goes to print, it's no longer mine anymore. It belongs to the reader, too. And while I've focused on the negative side of that here, the reality is that it can be, and most often is, incredible to see that people are reading and talking about your books.

Bee stings hurt, but once you've gotten through one or two, you know they're survivable. And would you ever stop walking through gardens for fear of being stung?